Align Your Expectations in Beijing and China

If you are in Beijing in an organized tour group, you'll be ushered around in an air-conditioned bus; you'll be pampered well. You probably won't run into any expectation alignment issues.

This alignment of expectations is a must for people who come to Beijing and China for a longer period of time. First of all, looking like a foreigner could be a double-edged sword. Don't play your foreigner card too hard. As a foreigner, extra courtesy might be extended to you. Yet, you are clearly a target to be ripped off.

The following is a list of my observations after two years in Beijing.

• Taxi driver - Generally, there is no tip expected. Don't expect him/her to come out to open the trunk for you. Load and unload the luggage and suitcases yourselves. Once a while, they do help you. You are in luck when that happens.
• Crossing the Intersection - Don't expect the bus or the car to yield to you even when you have the green/walk signal. Cars can turn right on red, and the drivers normally push their way through whenever they can. Remember that there is no notion of "right of way." You are a meat ball and they are metal; don't insist on this.
• Lights beaming - When a car/bus beams lights at you, especially with increasing speed, it means that you should get out of the way as soon as possible. This is *not* to signal you to go first.
• Using horns - When a car/bus is rushing through, horns are applied generously. Don't get annoyed. Horns are often used to show the displeasure of the drivers as well.
• Cutting in front of you - It is not uncommon in subway/bus lines for people to cut in front of you. You have to adjust a bit; and at the same time, be a little aggressive, otherwise, you might have trouble getting on.
• Let people out first? - Normally, people having no such courtesy of letting you out first before they barge in. This applies to elevators, buses, and subways. If you are the last one or close to the last one, be aggressive to move out early. Position yourself in a crowded situation when you are reaching your destination; you might have trouble getting out in the last minute. "Excuse me" does not help much in the last minute, and it is all right to move close to the door when the bus/subway is approaching your destination. Signal that you wish to swap positions, and stop when someone tells you that he/she is getting out too. Sounds like a bubble sort algorithm?
• Yielding their seats to you - If you have some gray or even some signs of aging, some youngster might yield his/her seat to you. In the city bus, sometimes the bus attendant would point and ask some young person to yield a seat to the senior or needy. He/she sets the civil code in the bus! At times, some young people shamelessly ignore the request or pretend to be ill. Some Americans might be a little offended as they are not ready to be seen as needing special treatment in their 50's. This is quite a contrast between today's Americans and Chinese in their 50's and 60's. Psychologically, many Chinese accept the notion of old age and fragility while their American counterparts perceive themselves completely otherwise.

  It is a pleasant surprise, isn't it? It is a pretty complicated society, you might think, given all the other things you have read so far.

• Crowd control - If you travel during peak weeks of the major holidays, you might be able to witness multi-level queues in and out of train stations. This is unique to China to make sure that people can get out of the stations, and can get into the stations as well. The system is designed not to let people in too early to block others who might need to get in. Chinese do have the expertise to manage and do crowd control during peak weeks of the transportation infrastructure.
• Rushing to get in and out - Going in to a music hall with assigned seating or on a upscale train, people still jostle. There is no real reason to get ahead. People are unconsciously insecure, and want to be ahead of everything habitually. One Tsinghua professor I knew told me of this analogy: When you are hungry for too long, you cannot stop eating when seeing plenty of good food on the table. It is probably a transitional phenomenon from a resource-poor economy to a plenty-for-all economy.